What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
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hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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