wat bout pragnant strippers??
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
