she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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