I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
