I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
