I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize