i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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