omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
