Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
