Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
