Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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