that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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