I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail