Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
