but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?