this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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