Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Randomize