I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I need to calm my uterus...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
