My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
