so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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