we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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