I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
