i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
