Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
