help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
