Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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