bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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