I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
