I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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