why didn't you poke me back
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
