She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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