Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My life is pants optional.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He did a backflip because drugs
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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