didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
