They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
