she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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