Pants 0. Shit 1.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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