Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.