I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.