I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
