At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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