Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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