I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
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Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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