so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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