Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
