He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
