I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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