I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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