I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize