Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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