the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
