she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
