dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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