I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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