I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
