That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
