allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
