you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
