I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
How's work?
Spinning.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize