perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
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Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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