...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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