i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it glows. i had to have it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
